I don't pretend to be deep, I just say really weird shit.
Background Illustrations provided by: http://edison.rutgers.edu/
thriveforhappiness:

whether the answer is yes or no, or a mix of the both, i wanted to remind you that you’re great. here is some stuff that i thought might be helpful if you ever feel down or bored or just wanna try something new!!
playlists // don’t be down / happy, happy, happy / cheer up!! / feeling down? / upbeat / for when you’re feeling sad.. / be happy! / songs to listen to when you are feeling sad. / anxiety/panic attacks / dashboard session / nostalgic. / it’s okay, not be okay. / anxiety’s lullaby / don’t be sad / songs that make you feel better / hey man, it’ll be okay. / note to self. / forget about it / baby don’t cut 
cheering up // emergency compliment!! / paying for people’s groceries / random acts of kindness caught on film / free hugs experiment / tipping servers $200 / little acts of kindness / 27 videos that will make you happy / givesmehope / textpost blog!! / the everything post / repeat after me. / feel like you lost something? / you are not alone. / just listen to this / cute yahoo answers / nail art tuts / bad x-factor auditions / need a hug?  / you can do anything 
cool stuff // music thing / how to lucid dream!! / teach yourself guitar (wow) / learn a new language / creepy websites / the color game / make a mind palace / explore the world / make a temporary tattoo! / musical sea creature // babies experiencing things / 7 day positive challenge / if you forgot how beautiful the world is / draw a nebula / watch documentaries / sugar cookies recipe / 100 things to do / anasomnia / kawaii emotions / 100+ games / make your own font
depression // how to love yourself / alternatives to self harm / what am i feeling? / if you feel like crap / dealing with depression / let go of your past. / what is depression? / depression & cutting/things to do instead of cutting / alternatives to self harm / the cure to sadness! (in under 3 minutes) / things to do when you’re sad  / feel good 101: depression/ stop cutting, create instead
anxiety/stress // soundrown / build stuff with sand / rainymood / chill out / zen garden / managing stress / social anxiety tips / PTSD forums / anti-anxiety masterpost / a place to think / calming manatee / the dawn room / 100,000 stars / types of anxiety disorders / anxiety attack tips / anti-anxiety foods / using a thought diary / panic attacks & anxiety /
eating disorders // bloating in recovery  / why you must eat / what is ED recovery? / learning to love your body / how to eat a fear food / helping someone with an eating disorder / 281 reasons to recover /
asking for help // telling people how you’re feeling / how do i tell someone when im afraid? /  how to ask for help / anxiety forums / 
movies, documentaries, tv // action movies / disney movies / scary movies / movies for angsty teens / my mad, fat diary / mean girls / blue is the warmest color / submarine / teen wolf / the vampire diaries / pretty little liars / american horror story / bob’s burgers / the mindy project / ultimate teen movie masterpost / hannah montana / sherlock / american beauty 

thriveforhappiness:

whether the answer is yes or no, or a mix of the both, i wanted to remind you that you’re great. here is some stuff that i thought might be helpful if you ever feel down or bored or just wanna try something new!!

playlists // don’t be down / happy, happy, happy / cheer up!! / feeling down? / upbeat / for when you’re feeling sad.. / be happy! / songs to listen to when you are feeling sad. / anxiety/panic attacks / dashboard session / nostalgic. / it’s okay, not be okay. / anxiety’s lullaby / don’t be sad / songs that make you feel better / hey man, it’ll be okay. / note to self. / forget about it / baby don’t cut 

cheering up // emergency compliment!! paying for people’s groceries / random acts of kindness caught on film / free hugs experiment / tipping servers $200 / little acts of kindness / 27 videos that will make you happy / givesmehope / textpost blog!! / the everything post / repeat after me. / feel like you lost something? / you are not alone. / just listen to this / cute yahoo answers / nail art tuts / bad x-factor auditions / need a hug?  / you can do anything 

cool stuff // music thing / how to lucid dream!! / teach yourself guitar (wow) / learn a new language / creepy websites / the color game / make a mind palace / explore the world / make a temporary tattoo! / musical sea creature // babies experiencing things / 7 day positive challengeif you forgot how beautiful the world is / draw a nebula / watch documentaries / sugar cookies recipe / 100 things to do / anasomnia / kawaii emotions / 100+ games / make your own font

depression // how to love yourselfalternatives to self harm / what am i feeling? / if you feel like crap / dealing with depression / let go of your past. / what is depression?depression & cutting/things to do instead of cutting / alternatives to self harm / the cure to sadness! (in under 3 minutes) / things to do when you’re sad  / feel good 101: depressionstop cutting, create instead

anxiety/stress // soundrown / build stuff with sand / rainymood / chill out / zen garden / managing stress / social anxiety tips / PTSD forums / anti-anxiety masterpost / a place to think / calming manatee / the dawn room / 100,000 stars / types of anxiety disorders / anxiety attack tips / anti-anxiety foods / using a thought diary / panic attacks & anxiety /

eating disorders // bloating in recovery  / why you must eat / what is ED recovery? / learning to love your body / how to eat a fear food / helping someone with an eating disorder / 281 reasons to recover /

asking for help // telling people how you’re feeling / how do i tell someone when im afraid? /  how to ask for helpanxiety forums

movies, documentaries, tv // action movies / disney movies / scary moviesmovies for angsty teensmy mad, fat diary / mean girls / blue is the warmest color / submarine / teen wolf / the vampire diaries / pretty little liars / american horror story / bob’s burgers / the mindy project / ultimate teen movie masterpost / hannah montana / sherlock / american beauty 

neokhaleesi:

ridingaroundwithmayoinmyhair:

underthevastblueseas:

A female Blanket Octopus might get to about a meter or 2 (3.3 to 6.6 feet) in length, but her first 2 pairs of legs are extra specially long. Attached to them is a huge span of webbing that is normally hidden away.In times of need, this drapery is unfurled, spread out and left to billow in the water. This makes her look far larger and more threatening than she actually is, hopefully scaring off any predators. If it doesn’t seem to be working so well, bits of her blanket can even detach from the rest to act as a decoy.

Blanket Octopus are immune to the stings of the Portuguese Man o’ War. They can rip off a few of the Man o’ War’s tentacles and wield them like whips. Poisonous, stinging whips.

source

WHATTTTTTTTTT. WHAT

(via portmanteaurian)

flowerstrickensunlight:

xopachi:

skwinky:

lntruding:


Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
Nope.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
In conclusion:
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.



UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:
A fucking fork?
I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
(Source)


I always need this on my blog.

I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning. 

themightymintyhippo this made me think of you

flowerstrickensunlight:

xopachi:

skwinky:

lntruding:

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.


UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

I always need this on my blog.

I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning. 

themightymintyhippo this made me think of you